April 16 - I’m Clingy
A squirrel matched my mood and thoughts on holding on.
Clinginess can be helpful - grounded and healing.
I sat outside on our deck for awhile and played fetch with Dash. As I sat, I noticed this squirrel hadn’t moved much. I’m not sure if it was comfortable or struggling but eventually, it did climb up and kept moving along the fence line. Squirrels’ little paws are so cute to me. And in this instant, I said “oh I see you, clinging, hanging on for dear life.” Maybe I was projecting? I’m certainly clinging to goodness and joy these days.
There’s a sense of groundedness that is present in all my days. I am thankful for that. Sometimes, I’m not even sure I do anything to cultivate that and it just simply is. And other days, I know that I have to work harder at it - actively become more attuned to my needs, my nervous system, and the needs and woes of those around me. Through it all, especially in the heavy times, I’ve always felt that there’s a sense of “clinging”. I may barely be holding onto threads of hope and resilience but I’m not letting go, no matter what! I can also loosen the grip because I know I am supported. Like this squirrel and the fence line.
My mentor reminds me that we are all codependent, in some ways. It’s just a matter of whether that is healthy or not. I want my clinginess to be rooted in freedom and support and love, not selfish attachment or fear. Even if fear may pull me closer - I pray it pulls me closer to God, to deeper self-awareness, healthy community, to fruitfulness.
I also liken this “holding on” to holding onto our values, our integrity and authenticity. We must hold on to each other and to the practices and people that sustain us, give us hope, challenge us for the sake of growth, hold us accountable. There can be strength and ease in this holding - it doesn’t require that I become so hyper aware and tight in my mind, heart, body. I can find the root, the ground, the core. I can stay there and be stretched taller.
Hold on. Loosen the grip a bit.
Take a breath.
Reflection:
What am I clinging to these days? Who/what is holding me up when I may want to let go? Where can I invite more ease into my holding?
Prayer:
God who never lets go, thank You for Your constant faithfulness. Help me to cling to all that is good - to allow space for growth, to cherish and appreciate, to learn. Help me loosen the grip on things that I need to let go of, need to surrender. Show me where the fence lines are - the people, the practiced, the guides, paths, and roots I can follow and hold onto when things get difficult. Keep me tethered to You and to Love. Help me be a grounding presence for others - that together we may rise up.
I accidentally set the wrong publication time for this so, depending on where you are in the world, you may be reading this as an afternoon snack, midnight delight, or morning hope. ❤️ I’d love to hear what’s holding you up these days, if you feel like commenting and sharing ❤️
My family keeps me grounded. Blessing of a wedding in Pittsburgh - my nephew’s- last weekend and a job to do - as executrix for my friend and mentor Jack’s estate and his daughters
I’m struggling a bit to cling on to hope these days. Family and friends definitely help, though.
In a long awaited catch up call a few days ago with a friend I’ve known since I was 13, we renewed our commitment to our friendship and she told me that I remind her of who she is. I literally teared up. That gave me so much joy and reminded me that I, too, am helping others to cling on or stay grounded, even though I may not realise it.